Wednesday, May 18, 2005

There are several reasons why I have not updated in an age, such as endless revision, for example. However, the most prevailing, and therefore most contributory, reason would be (can you tell I've been practising analysis techniques muchos??) that last Wednesday my house got broken into.

Yes, it would appear that some of Chris' incredible bad luck has somehow, perhaps via the blogosphere as a sort of blog-virus, rubbed off on me. Nobody was in the house at the time, thankfully. Quite pathetically, I was in the library - at 10pm. Also thankfully, the house wasn't trashed, they just kicked in the door, ran around the rooms grabbing our computers, dragged the DVD player and Sky box across the living room floor (?) and left. In my opinion, it was probably our own messiness that saved the DVD and Sky from being nicked, because the wires were in such a mess they evidently couldn't untangle them quick enough so just left them. Ha! Despite, the initial trauma of discovering that scallies had been rummaging around our house, it did become quite exciting, in that we had a crime scene investigator round (CSI!) and then a forensics lady who finger-printed everything. Also, a flour fight (do not ask) had taken place briefly earlier that day on the stairs and in our usual fashion we couldn't be bothered to clear it up, so the stoopid burglars may have left floury footprints upstairs. May have, in that it is also possible that the said footprints were left by the CSI man who, along with myself, walked straight through the flour several times.

So, ripping off, I mean adopting the style of ms. mac, here is my letter to the burgling scallies:-

Dear Scallies,

I hope that my very slow and old computer that I had had for 3 days before you stole it and the other computer which had a debilitating virus on it made you lots of money and were worth the £80 I had to pay for an emergency locksmith, along with the days of unease you left 3 defenceless girls with at simply being in their own home, although I very much doubt that they were. Bastards!! However, I extend to you my thanks for the robbery of the aforementioned quite rubbish computers as brand spanking new ones are now whisking their way to us via insurance claims! Ha! Hahahahaha!!

Yours,

Me x

PS - thank you for sparing my hamster.


In other news, this morning I had my first exam, 'Barbarians of the Dark Ages: Anglo-Saxons, Vikings and Slavs.' The first question went ok I think, although I didn't know what one of the words in the question meant and had to ask one of the invigilators, while feeling very stupid because no one else had had to ask it. I mean, really though, how many times do you use the word 'acculturation' in an average day anyway? The second question could, to be honest, go either way. Once again, I implore you to pray for me. The next exams are next Wednesday and Thursday, so I'm not expecting to update too regularly until then.

Oh and also! I have been accepted into the new gang that everyone wants to be in! The badge should be arriving in my Inbox any time now, and I shall display it with pride.

19 Comments:

  • At 4:36 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dear burglars,
    If you'd like a 15-month old v noisy hamster I will be leaving my bedroom window open between the hours of 0000 and 0200 every night until we move. You have five weeks. I beg you.
    love, Alice xx

     
  • At 6:25 pm, Blogger gina said…

    Dear burglars,
    If an annoying redneck mother-f***k*r would come in handy, I'll send you my ex-husband's address.
    love,Gina

     
  • At 6:26 pm, Blogger gina said…

    Dear burglars,
    You can have everything but my fabulous new Bloggies shield. ;)
    love Gina xx

     
  • At 6:42 pm, Blogger Ms Mac said…

    Dear Laura,

    While I empathise completely with your horrendous experience, please don't be sharing any of the blogosphere bad luck virus with me.

    Poor you.

    I remain, as always, a fellow Bloggie,

    ms. mac

     
  • At 11:08 pm, Anonymous lauras mum said…

    dear burlars-how bleep dare you!i hope that one day your student daughters get broken into and that there stuff gets stolen,and then maybe just maybe you will know what all this has felt like.please hold that thought,dwell on it somewhat,maybe even have a remorseful moment or two on it-I DARE YOU TO!Go on,try.mean time be afraid,be very afraid-because if i get hold of you you wont have to worry a jot about the csi dept. etc.just me!-Lauras mother.

     
  • At 12:16 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dear Laura,
    I and i am sure many others as well,completely agree with your mum.I salute her.

     
  • At 12:27 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dear Burglars,I'd be watching over my shoulder if i was you!There's a "mum's" army gathering on the horizon! and i for one support them 200% And yes be afraid,VERY afraid!

     
  • At 12:54 am, Anonymous fellow student of history in london said…

    Laura, I am appalled at your misfortune.It must have been horrible.I suggest you train your hamster to bite to kill! Or maybe move your mum in! Mums rule o.k.!!! But joking apart i too have been burgalled- twice now,my laptop and my tv the first time,my microwave and my juicer! the second time.Nothing left to take now-'cept James,don't ask!,my goldfish.Anyway,keep safe,i understand some of what you went through Baseball bats are handy items to keep lying around,those and mum's.

     
  • At 10:21 am, Blogger Curly said…

    That sucks eh? At least you got to save the sky box - it shows that being messy can pay off some times? I think the flour fight is absolutely genius!

    We once had a huge waterfight in our house which wasn't so helpful as the flour - the landlord came round and was about to call the plumber until he heard the familiar sounds of girls getting soaked with buckets of water on the third floor! He wasn't happy.

     
  • At 10:56 am, Anonymous Ys said…

    Aww, Laura, I'm sorry. Love the fact that you had a random flour fight though :)

    Your mother is scary - if I were the burgulars, I wouldn't be coming back!

     
  • At 12:47 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It has to be said-food fights are the best,with apologies to all landlords-howz bout flour bags over your front door then?splat the burgulars. Roll on your scary mother she sounds cool-mine would hide behind the couch!

     
  • At 1:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    HEY MOVE ON OVER MR BLAIR SEND IN LAURAS MOTHER I SAY,ARMED WITH FLOUR BOMBS AND MUZZLED HAMSTERS!I THINK SHE JUST MIGHT RESTORE LAW AND ORDER SINGLEHANDED.OH BY THE WAY JELLY FIGHTS ARE THE BUSINESS.POOR YOU THOUGH,NOT A GOOD EXPERIENCE EH? YOU NEED A BIG HAIRY B.FRIEND ON DOOR DUTY.

     
  • At 1:26 pm, Anonymous Ann student of life mashed potatoes and law in l'pool said…

    Dear laura, I am a blogger wanna be,i'm practising hard in between revising,honest parents i am,i too had a break-in,just before xmas,good timing-not!only i was pretty much cleaned out,even took my fave.cushion off my bed! the moral here is surely live like a monk-sparseley and poorely well i'm that anyway,doesn't seem to stop burglars though does it? Back to the books-just felt the need to comment and commiserate.burglars-boo, hiss, mums yeah.oh and mashed potatoe fights are the best!!!

     
  • At 5:33 pm, Blogger Ms Mac said…

    Whoah! Way to go Laura's mum! You tell 'em!

    Hope you're not too traumatised still....

     
  • At 9:06 am, Anonymous Laura's Mum said…

    Laura, This is me complete with ahem correct spelling,not firing off in protective mode,apologising for any o.t.t. comments that I may have made re. your unwelcome visitors. Yes I was on one as is said,for all the right reasons I hasten to add-verbally protecting my baby. Sorry s'heart it was late and i was SO upset-for you ,your house mates and most of all because i'm too far a way from you at times like these and its worrying you know.love as always,keep safe mum xxx Burglers, To you,no apologies. I do hope that one day you and yours experience what we have on this,the angst,the inconvenience the invasion of privacy etc.so that hopefully when you get that "late night 'phone call" you will feel as I and Laura's Dad did....

     
  • At 11:49 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    To Lauras Mum Hey-yes your spellings not too hot but please do not apologise for your feelings on this,these low-lifes deserve to be verbally abused-someone has to do it and a mighty fine job of it you did too!!

     
  • At 12:06 pm, Anonymous Ann,L'Pool said…

    To Lauras mother-don't apologise make em squirm, lots.

     
  • At 4:52 pm, Blogger Jon said…

    I love the Scallies, but I DO NOT like them when they burgle an innocent lady like yourself!

    They should be hung!

     
  • At 4:51 pm, Anonymous Jean-Yves said…

    Ah, the ritual of being burgled whilst a student at Leeds. Yep, went through that too, along with at least 8/10 of my fellow students. And that was 17 years ago, so not much has changed I see :(

    Fortunately for me, I had just carted off my computer for the weekend, so the thieves got nowt from me, although they were very welcome to take away my macro-economic books as they were of little use to me, me being far too busy not working to ever open them :)

    Anyways, sorry to hear about your mishap...

     

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